the beginning

One night, I happened to look at the back cover with the book’s summary.  My eyes scanned several accolades below the synopsis and one testimonial jumped out at me — it was from Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project.  This hit me like a spiritual exclamation point!  I felt like God was taking my head and pushing it down so close that with even my extreme actual and spiritual nearsightedness, I could see what He wanted me to do next!  The Happiness Project had been the book that had inspired me to come up with “the holiness project” 8 years earlier —  even though I hadn’t actually read Gretchen’s book at that point —- or maybe I started it, but didn’t progress far.  Gretchen was a Yale Law School classmate of mine (didn’t know her very well, but our 1994 Class was only 183 students so most of us knew each other and Gretchen was editor of The Yale Law Journal at the same time I served as one of the senior editors).  She was high profile at Yale for her accomplishments and after graduating, clerked for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor.  I can’t remember exactly why I didn’t read her book at the time, but it was probably because I either wanted to come up with my own “original” ideas regarding the holiness project, or didn’t want to be reminded of all of my “lost” opportunities that I could have pursued with my Yale Law School education.  I remember thinking about The Happiness Project occasionally over the years, but still shied away from reading it — either out of envy or guilt.  But then when I saw Gretchen’s endorsement of a book I was enjoying tremendously, I remembered The Happiness Project, and this time, I didn’t hesitate to log onto Amazon and order a copy.  When the book arrived 2 days later, I couldn’t wait to start reading it.  I am half-way though The Happiness Project, and I can clearly see why it quickly reached No. 1 on the New York Times bestseller list!  So many ideas resonate with me and now I really wish I had read the book when it first came out.  I thought about waiting to finish Gretchen’s book before starting to tackle “my holiness project”, but I recognized that I am a queen of procrastinating and I admitted to myself that this was probably just another excuse to delay.  So I decided to not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.  

I often like to start big projects on dates that have some special significance in the Catholic liturgical calendar or for me personally.  I knew that today was the Feast of Saint Juan Diego, a 16th Century saint from Mexico, to whom the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared and left her miraculous image on his tilma, or cloak — which is still intact to this day in the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadelupe in Mexico City.  I looked up Juan’s biography to re-familiarize myself with the details of his story.  Juan Diego was a poor indigenous layman, born in 1474 who had converted to the Catholic faith and was baptized when he was 50 years old.  I paused.  I had forgotten that he was over 50.  I am over 50.  The Virgin Mary appeared to him on December 9th, 1531.  I looked at the date and grabbed my pencil, making a quick corner of the paper calculation — hoping that Juan Diego’s age would be another sign for me — God’s “stamp of approval” on my starting this blog today.  I came up with Juan Diego’s age as 56 years old —  so close to my own 57 years — that must be an encouragement, right?  I have felt that many times in the past, God has used the significance of certain dates and events to “speak” to me by grabbing my attention -— God incidences.  I looked at my quick math again — and then realized that I, the finance major, had made a silly subtracting mistake.  Juan Diego was actually 57 years old when God gave him his special mission.  57.  My exact age.  

I’ve lamented over and over again how I should have started this blog years ago, which I first had the idea, like I did with Barefoot Blessings — when I had the energy of a much younger woman and mom.  But it’s never too late when God has laid something on your heart, right?  I knew this in my head, but it was still hard when the internal voices of resistance told me to give up because I had missed my window.  I know that God has blessed me greatly — way beyond my ability to fully convey in words — through the gift of faith and grace in countless ways.  God has led me through many joys and sorrows, challenges and victories in my life, and it would be impossible to deny the reality and gift of His Presence.  I have had my fair share of adversity, but God’s grace has washed over my wounds with healing that I could never have expected or imagined.  In my gratefulness, I have a deep desire to share my journey, both past and present, with you readers — to encourage, and be encouraged  by your journeys, too.  This is my holiness project.